The internet is praised for being the middle man that instantly connects us to each other, allowing us to communicate more frequently. Many confuse this as an advantage to gain a better understanding of one another. It actually does the opposite. By giving people the opportunity to sit behind a digital wall and twist their personalities, it is difficult for the ones at the other end of the screen to see the person for who they really are. Not only that, but the fact that we aren't really talking to that person, but rather just interpreting their words without any physical indications, leads to big gaps between the actual message that is being given and the message that is being received. Online social networking tools such as instant messaging, twitter, facebook, texting (not really online) etc. have made it harder for us to read people by eliminating the physical aspect of interaction and making it easier for others to develop a second personality.
Good connections are largely based on how well we understand one another. We usually seek these types of understanding through communication. The most popular form of communication is language (body and verbal) probably because this is the most effective simulation of reality.
to be continued..
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Carrie,
ReplyDeleteFirst, your draft is very short, but I think what you have makes a lot of sense and your arguments and thesis are extremely sharp. Your draft is organized and simple.
One thing I would change however, is in your thesis “Online social networking tools such as instant messaging, twitter, facebook, texting (not really online) etc. have made it harder for us to read people by eliminating the physical aspect of interaction and making it easier for others to develop a second personality.” I think that instead of saying “such as instant messaging, twitter, facebook, texting (not really online) etc”, you can just write Online social networking tools have made it harder… because including examples in the thesis is not needed, in my opinion. In your introduction or your arguments, you can expand on the examples of social networking, but I think your thesis should just state social networking. It leaves room to talk about these sites or systems in your introduction or argument, instead of jamming it into one sentence.
I really like your last paragraph, and want to read more about what you think about the differences between physical and online interactions. I know that you have some good arguments and quotes planned to incorporate in your paper, and can’t wait to read your final paper.
I really enjoyed reading your snippet of a rough draft, and can’t wait to read the final.
-Rachel (: