HW 17: Outline Suggestions

Vincent,

I like the general topic of your essay. It seems different from the rest. Your thesis is a little bit confusing though. "Digital Representation devices are not the cause of human suffering but the wielders and creators of these devices." The last part was confusing. Are you trying to say that DRDs aren't the cause of human suffering but instead the root of the problem remains in the humans who have create these devices?

I like how you date back to the earlier days of representations of reality.

Another main thing I see in your outline is your idea of how devices have come to control our emotions. How does this happen? You should give some examples while writing your essay to clarify that topic.

For your second argument, maybe your opposing argument can be about parents that actually try to encourage their children to think for themselves and make their own decisions. And you can use Violet's father as an example.

I don't really understand your third argument. I got the impression that Bad is Good for you is more of a positive outlook into the digital world rather than telling us that "different types of technology serves as limits that the humans has created for other humans." I don't know. Maybe I'm interpreting your argument wrong?

Anyway, I think your topic overall is really different and I like the overly critical feel to it. Hope you make something really good out of it. Looking forward to reading it and maybe it'll clarify the stuff I'm confused about now.

Jenise,

I like how you include both perspectives in your essay although you should add on to your thesis if you're going to talk about how digitalization is a good thing as well.

You have a lot of good examples and evidence. The article about Google sounds really interesting because I've always thought of Google as an educative tool instead of something that dumbs us down.

You seem to have a lot of stuff you want to talk about so make sure they connect and flow together nicely. I like both ideas you have for your third heading. Maybe do a little of both? Like talk about the aspects that benefit us and those that don't and then give an opinion on how we can limit our use to where we can benefit from it as much as possible (without relying fully on it).